Better to Drunk Dial than to Drunk Drive!

Okay, so i'll admit it. I've been a bad girl. I've broken the law before. I've not-so-soberly walked over to my car, put the keys inside, put my seat belt on, and driven out on to the empty Miami roads from time to time when perhaps I should have just slept on someone's couch. I'm not proud of this fact, and I recognize that it isn't a good thing. However, as one gets older, you realize it's more sensible to wait until sobriety kicks in before you get in your vehicle and run someone over or hit a wall. Apparently, though, one of our local artists wasn't so bright, as he was charged with a DUI and will now be paying up with both time AND money. Romero Britto is one of Miami's biggest artists. I'm not entirely sure why, to be honest. I'm neither a fan nor a major critic of his work. If you live in Miami (or if you've visited), it's more than likely you've seen either a poster or a statue or a painting or a flyer or SOMETHING with Britto's work on it. The bright, clashing colors and polkadots he uses in most of his work are pleasing to the eye. But honestly, there's nothing majorly innovative or life-altering in any of the work that i've seen. (Although that kitty is pretty cute!)

Either way, Britto should've known better than to be driving (er, swerving) his Bentley around South Beach after throwing back a few. You'd think a guy with that kind of money (hell, ANYONE with a Bentley has money in my book... I drive an old, used, beaten up 01' Saturn my folks gave me) would be smart enough to either ask someone for a ride, call up a cab, or have his own personal driver with him! Instead, he's looking at 6-months of having his license suspended, a $1000 fine, and 100 hours of community service. Let that be a lesson, kids! Even Mr. Miami Art himself has to go around and pick up other people's trash!

Perhaps if he'd had one of the latest iPhone apps that help you figure out how drunk you are, this may not have happened! Yes, that's right. I actually got inspired after reading about Britto and thought 'Man, wouldn't it be something if there was an app for that?' (as has become the trend.) Google led me to two different apps.

One is call the Last Call iPhone App, which basically calculates what your blood alcohol content is depending on how many drinks you had (ounces of alcohol) and how long ago you had them (times your height and weight I believe.) The pro about this is it gives you a cool line graph to figure out how trashed you are and how long til sobriety. It also has a button to call a local taxi service automatically if you won't be sober for a while. The con is... well, if you're really drunk, how will you remember to use it? Are you really going to know how many ounces were in those 3 long islands and 2 jager bombs? Did you forget to include that last martini? What about the beer you had in the afternoon? Chances are, you'll end up puking all over your iPhone before you figure out how drunk you really are (although that would be a good indicator not to drive home.)

The second app isn't really an official iPhone app. But basically, it's a breathalyzer attachment for your iPod (and I believe you can use it on the iPhone as well.) It's called the iBreath attachment and it works just like a breathalyzer, you blow in and it tells your your BAC. This would be awesome if it weren't about $70+. And unfortunately, you might not even remember to use it either (or how to.) Also, you would need to look up what the legal limit BAC is (it can very per state.) If you're in Florida like I am, check this website out to see our local DUI laws and the legal consequences you might face for driving drunk.

Lastly, Wikipedia has a chart that tells you more or less how many drinks results in what kind of BAC reading. I wouldn't exactly put money on the accuracy of Wikipedia ("But officer, Wiki said that if I only have 2 beers I should be under the legal limit!"), but it's a good way of kind of figuring it out if you don't have a breathalyzer. My limit is apparently, yes, 2 beers. But I would think I should still sit it out for a while before going behind the wheel. Some of us don't have a grand to blow like Britto apparently does...